Itchy skin? Use shea butter!
Headache? Take ibuprofen!
ADHD? Uhh… Set a timer for 15 minutes?
Autism? Uhh… Stack some cans… on top of model trains?
If only it were that simple.
There is no magic trick when it comes to neurodivergence
What’s the common sentiment in all these wishes?
- “I just got diagnosed—where’s the instruction manual?”
- “Why don’t any of the ADHD tips I find online actually work for me?”
- “Everyone says different things help them. How do I figure out what will help ME?”
If you answered “they all think ADHD / Autism / Neurodivergence is One Thing, and there’s a simple, universal answer to What To Do With It“, you were correct.
Because there is no one-size-fits-all solution when it comes to what helps your ADHD/autism personally.
It’s short-sighted to think of neurodivergence as short-sightedness
You see, when it comes to how different people have differently wired brains, it’s not like needing to wear glasses.
If you suddenly have fuzzy vision, there’s a clear pathway to help.
- You visit the optometrist,
- they do some tests,
- and find the exact number that describes your eyesight needs.
And now that you know that your vision in your right eye is -7 and in your left, it’s -6.5, that means exactly one thing and one thing only: this is the strength of lens that will help you go from fuzzy vision to not squinting your eyes when trying to read subtitles.
We have a clear-cut answer to ‘how bad your eyesight is’.
It is measurable, and even if it changes, it takes a long time.
Not just that, but this metric can be exactly translated to the settings of a disability aid (glasses) that will be perfect for you. Boom, you’re done.
You wear your glasses until your vision acts up again, then you can redo the tests, adjust the prescription, and you’re good to go for another few years.
When it comes to neurodivergence, this approach is completely useless.
Brains come in many different configurations. How they work, what they need, what they like, and what stresses them out can differ from person to person.
To complicate matters further, even within a single individual, these needs and preferences can change depending on the environment, exhaustion, life circumstances, time of day, and more.
But don’t worry, because navigating your adjustment needs and finding what helps with your ADHD, your Autism, or other neurodivergent traits is something you can actually figure out. The combinations might be endless, but the individual pieces are recognisable.
A neurodivergent-friendly life needs to be a you-friendly life.
Finding your adjustments is a personal journey
What does a neurodivergent-friendly life look like for you, specifically? Exploring your adjustment needs is like a little scavenger hunt.
Finding what works
- You look for things (tools, circumstances, experiences, etc.) that help you exist, focus, relax, rest, or give you energy.
- You find out exactly what feature or aspect makes them helpful and supportive.
- You try to infuse this quality in as many things as possible.
I loved this. What do I love about this, and how can I feel this more often? — This approach helps you distil your exact brand of joy.
Finding what does not work
- You find circumstances, elements of environments, features, etc., that are upsetting, making things overwhelming, draining you of energy.
- You try to figure out what exactly is making them not work for you.
- You create alternatives that don’t include these qualities, so you don’t have to endure them again (or as much).
What would need to be different to make it easier for me? – This question opens up a new way to look at struggles.
This exploratory adventure is not a one-and-done exercise but a practice that can become one of the many things you do for self-care.
Download the Adaptation Explorer Workbook
To help you on this journey, we created the Adaptation Explorer Workbook.
The workbook contains 15 unique pages to help you explore your neurodivergent traits and needs.
Whether you’re new to this journey or a seasoned neuro-veteran, spending some time to collect your adaptations for work, study, rest, and sleep can be a great way to care and advocate for yourself.
In the workbook, you’ll find lots of prompts and beginnings of sentences that will help you find clues for:
- the kind of environments that support you in your daily life,
- circumstances that help you thrive,
- and adaptations that help you do the things you want to do.
You’ll also find sections to collect signs for when you’re getting overwhelmed, and how a friend or advocate can support you.
You can download this workbook for free in our Resource Library.
What can you use this workbook for?
Re-introducing yourself to yourself in a neurodivergent context
If you’re newly identified as neurodivergent, especially as an adult, there are many things to unlearn: how you motivate yourself, what rest looks like, and what makes you worthy. Many expectations and labels you’ve internalized so far need to be revisited.
And one way you can tackle this is by looking at what makes life happier, easier and harder for you. Without judgment, without prejudice, just as they are: This helps me. This hurts me.
Letting your loved ones know about your needs
People who want to create a supportive environment for you need to learn about your specific neurodivergent traits and needs, not just neurodivergence in general.
But to do that, they have to know what to do exactly. By doing this exploratory work, you can find clarity in your needs, and people who care about you can be even more supportive than before.
If it helps you, you can also involve these people in using the workbook — either in the form of bodydoubling, or helping you collect scenarios, examples from the past that can shine a light on what works for you and what doesn’t.
Collecting concrete examples to ask for adjustments in a professional setting
Whether you want to approach your workplace about your specific adjustment needs or plan to apply for support (like Access To Work in the UK), you’ll need to clarify what exactly you need and why.
This exploration work will arm you with a list of requirements you can then take to your employer to discuss.
Getting familiar with your traits – before or without a diagnosis
If you are queuing for an assessment, this prep-work can be a great basis for your discussion with a healthcare professional when you get there.
Meanwhile, you can still introduce adjustments to your daily life.
And no matter if you have a diagnosis or not, knowing what conditions are helpful or harmful for you is a powerful tool in your day-to-day life. Having adjustment needs is nothing to be ashamed about.
You don’t need the permission of any diagnosis to justify treating yourself with kindness, empathy, and creating a life where you feel safe and supported.
I Wasn’t ‘Just A Bit Stressed Out’
Leave a Reply